Best Grilled Cheese in the WORLD.

I realized I've gotten old and boring this month, when I was more interested by recipes than sex advice in my issue of Cosmopolitan magazine. Since I'm married now, I skim through the pages looking for topics that are applicable to my routinely, day-to-day living.

I'm never suprised by any sex tips in any issue...I've read them already- They don't vary much. Look hot, turn guy on, wear this, don't wear that, he'll love this, he won't love that, does he love you, does he hate you? I have bigger things to worry about- like what I'm going to cook for dinner.

My outfit consisted of sweatpants and a mis-matched baggy tshirt when I scanned through my magazine as I sat with olive oil in my hair. My leave-in conditioning treatment did not result in the appealing allure of the model who'd tried it on my reading material's pages. She was too skinny anyway and no doubt in my mind that she never eats. I love to eat. I have little in common with models who worry about how to please everyone else and who look fabulous even with greasy hair.

Cosmopolitan could do better to appeal to your average girl. Either that, or I should just start reading Good Housekeeping and admit that I'm probably not a great representation of what is average for the entire female population. There are some really good ideas in my mom's magazines for an old married girl like me. I thought about this as I flipped page after page of Cosmo, until one picture caught my attention.

Go figure that the only photo in the magazine I loved was one of a grilled cheese sandwich. Maybe I'm not too old for Cosmo, after all. This recipe was DELICIOUS, my friends. Here's whatcha do...

 

YOU WILL NEED:

thickly sliced ham
bacon
brie cheese- I had to google this. Still didn't use it.
goat cheese
cheddar cheese
sliced almonds
honey
arugula- I skipped this one.
thinly sliced apples- Gala apples are best!
sliced bread- I used french.

Smear your desired amount of goat cheese onto your sliced bread. I use no measurement limit because I love goat cheese enough to buy a goat so I could have some every day. Dental floss works best to cut through a lump of goat cheese- Using a knife will crumble the stuff to bits.

Place a folded slice or two of ham on top of your glob o' cheese. Top with two slices of very thinly sliced apples. Top with bacon crumbles and sprinkle with shredded cheddar cheese. Top that with almonds, a slight drizzle of honey, and arugula. I skimped on arugula and brie cheese toppings for mine. You do as you please with those dreadful ingredients.

Why 365? I just got tired of pressing the temp button's up arrow, really. I think this recipe would work whether or not you heat at a different temp. Just adjust your cook time accordingly. You knew that already though, you lil' smartybritches. :)

Pop your mini-sandwiches into the oven. I heated at 365 degrees for about 10-15 minutes. I don't remember exactly, to tell you the truth. Just check periodically on your cheese's melting progress.

While your sandwiches cook, go play with your doggy. Here's Lucy, sniffing the sweet aroma of my awesome sandwiches while they cook. She got a little bit of a taste when she followed me to the kitchen to search for any crumbs that had fallen during sandwich construction. It's hard not to give some scraps of table food to my two dogs when they look at me like this! :)

Alert your dinner attendees when your sandwiches are ready.
 Here's my taste-tester, Josh, A.K.A. video game connoisseur.

I bought him those headphones and have never been more satisfied with a purchase in my entire life. My house had constantly sounded like I was in the middle of a war whenever Josh got home from work and turned on his game console to play a few rounds of whatever-he-calls-thems. I call them all vidjeo jims, regardless of which one he's playing. To me, they're all the same- with the exception of Prototype. For some reasons still mysterious, I played the crap out of that game and beat missions alongside my more experienced gaming-professional husband. Annnyway...

Since the purchase of this headset, my house has been restored to its usual peaceful state. The only downside to these is that I sometimes forget he can't hear a thing I say when he's wearing them. I have held entire conversations about my day while cooking in our kitchen, only to realize that my husband's ears have been covered the whole time he's been sitting in the other room. I repeat myself more often than I used to, but at least I don't have to hear explosions or gunfire that results from my non-violent husband's love for grotesque games of gore.

 For any individuals out there who suffer from post traumatic stress associated with video game noises filling your home, I highly recommend these headphones. I tapped Josh on his shoulder to alert him when dinner was ready, for he had not heard me approach him. Few gamers permit unnecessary interruptions during their playtime. Although auditory ability was inhibited for my husband, his sense of smell had persuaded him to cease gunfire and put down the controller.

I'm telling you, friends- these sandwiches are MAGICAL like that. :)

If you have dogs- For the love of all things cheesey, put them in another room or prevent access from your scrumdiddilyuptious sandwiches.

If given two seconds without supervision, your canines will devour your meal. My dog, Halle, once ate an ENTIRE PIZZA in a matter of ten seconds. Don't give 'em a chance, folks. Don't trust that sweet, innocent look they give you.

They WILL take advantage of your trust and you'll be eating Spaghettio's if you're not careful!

All clear for consumption! This would be a two-thumbs up rating, had I not been holding the pan with one hand!

OH MY CHEESENESS, BACONY, CREATION- 
How I LOVE THEE.

Now, plop in front of the TV and listen to your husband tell you how wonderful your cooking is. Mine stopped playing his video game to munch on these...and I accidentally left olive oil in my hair overnight. Guess those are the good and bad consequences of reading Cosmo during your mid-20's.

(I'll still keep buying that silly magazine though...all because of this incredible recipe.)