LifeLookLens: Six Months, A Cone Head, & Other Momish Updates

I promised I'd post a few 6 month shots of Everly so here we go... It can be hard to blog when you have a baby. I have no idea how people keep up with it! I've been a slacker. Can't believe it's been half a year since Everly was born! Everyone tells you time flies and that you should enjoy your children- especially when they're young.

Everly's starting to show a lot of personality- I don't know how I ever made it through tough days without her smile! It's crazy how you can be having a bad day then it all just melts away when you hear a little giggle. Watching her grow up has been the most rewarding experience of my life and we're only 6 months in!

I try hard not to overload Facebook with baby pictures...really, I do. I can't help it. Hence, sharing my blog...I'm like every other mom out there. I think my kid is adorable- I think everything she does is cute. I have to stop myself from telling people every single little thing Everly does. I have to remind myself that most people really don't care to hear about all the details! I find myself not caring about that, though, and I overshare anyway.

This is the best my life has ever been. I know Facebook is basically just a highlight reel of people's lives, but when I say I'm the happiest I've ever been- I mean it. She's the reason why!

This is going to sound shallow, but it's totally honest... Everly wasn't always this cute.

Go ahead, call me a bad mom. I'm being real here, though.

I worried about whether my baby would be cute or not.

If people tell you that thought has never crossed their mind, they're lying. Of course, health was (and is) always more important than beauty. Beauty is fleeting...it's only skin deep...it's what's on the inside that counts...yada yada yada... While all of that is true, my pregnant self occasionally lay awake wondering... What if my kid is ugly? And WORSE...

What if I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S UGLY??

Some may think me awful for saying this but it's brutal honestly. You think all sorts of crazy stuff when you're pregnant (and, when you're not pregnant if you're me)... but we've all seen it happen. The proud parents who think their kid is the most beautiful thing to ever grace the planet...regardless of what their kid looks like. They are seemingly unaware of their child's flaws, physical and/or otherwise. I was- and still am- one of these parents.

For example...

When Everly was born, she had a cone head..It was pretty serious.

I didn't notice Everly's little football head until people pointed it out to me. Maybe it was the drugs that had me blissfully oblivious, but I think it goes beyond that. 'Love is blind' applies here. I kept saying obnoxious things like, "Isn't she perfect?" and "She's so beautiful!" Meanwhile, my husband silently worried about whether or not she'd need to wear a helmet.

Everly actually shrunk after she was born. Seriously?! Yeah. She went from 20 1/2 inches at birth to 20 inches at her first doctor appointment. That's how much cone we're talkin'!

Everly's skin was red and splotchy. Her eyes -and her entire body, really- were swollen.

I had always thought newborns were ugly...like little potatoes.

They didn't look like mom or dad...they just looked- weird.

My baby was the exception. (Isn't everybody's?) She was perfect, cone-head and all!

Fortunately, it did get better...

I guess maybe it is true...whatever your baby looks like- you think they're beautiful...and you're right. :) You soon find out there are MUCH bigger and more important things to worry about. Like them growing up, for example...

As I sat Everly in a tiny rocking chair the other day for her 6-month pics, something strange happened before I could stop myself. I started to cry. Not uncontrollable sobs, people...just a few quiet, bittersweet tears and a little sniffle.

Before my daughter, I didn't understand why and how people got so ridiculously emotional over their kids! It just sort of hit me, unexpectedly. My kid is half a year old. Where did the time GO? Seems like just yesterday I was in the hospital. It's unreal.

So, yes. I cried. Just a smidgen of a cry, okay?

I love this kid more than ANYTHING. I want to teach her so much! I want her to be better than me. I don't want her to make the mistakes I've made. I want her to know that it doesn't matter what you look like- it matters how you act, how you treat others, and how you feel about yourself.

I used to wear a lot of makeup. I stopped wearing much when this kid came into the picture. I didn't want her to think she had to look perfect to leave the house. I didn't want her to think she should spend a ton of time getting ready to go somewhere. This decision ended up saving ME a lot of time, as well as made me feel better about how I naturally look. Little things like this have changed and when I stop to think about why, it always goes back to Everly.

Some people have asked why I want to go back to school.

I'm a stay-at-home-mom, after all.
Why do I need a degree? To answer: I WANT a degree for myself. I'm going back to school for MYSELF.

I am fortunate that I am able to stay home and raise my daughter.

For me, though, it's important to model what you want to instill in your children.

I completely respect the choices of others and I realize they differ from my own.

If I'm going to encourage my daughter to do what makes her happy...
If I'm going to tell her that school is important...
If I'm going to tell her to do what she believes is right, regardless of what other people think....

I HAVE TO DO IT FIRST.

I want my daughter to be proud of me. Being proud of myself helps make that happen. I've reflected a lot in the past 6 months. Things have changed so much, but it's all been for the better. Doing what I feel I need to do to become a better mother takes priority for me now.

Judging from this smile, I may be getting the hang of this whole mom thing!

New teeth! Here's Ev (because I like shortening her name to make her sound cooler) in my old high chair. She sat in it for the first time this week.

She's rubbing her gums here because they hurt and she has gravy on her bib and....wait, I'll stop. This is the boring stuff I have to catch myself doing now when I'm talking to other people. My stories sometimes aren't as interesting for others as they are for me. lol