The Google-As-You-Go Parenting Style & Other Random Lessons Learned

I can't think of anything to blog about besides my kid. She's napping now, which isn't interesting to me- much less to you.

Kids aren't really all that interesting though. They have opinions, sure, but are they really based on anything valid? I mean, they've been alive for what- 3 years or so. (6 1/2 months, in my case) What they talk about isn't all that captivating or deep. Babies are even worse.

Everly doesn't care about current events. She doesn't even have a favorite color yet. She's probably just now starting to see in color, anyway. I should know that sort of stuff but I don't. I didn't do a lot of research before I had a baby.

I'm a google-as-I-go kind of mom and since my kid's still alive, I figure my parenting style works...so far.

 Here's my husband. He adopts the same search-and-find type of parenting that I do. He knows as little about raising kids as I do.

We look as happy as we are clueless.
This used to really scare me.

"We are SO unprepared!"
"We don't know ANYTHING!"
"Why is her poop like this?"
"Is that twitching while she sleeps normal?"
"When is she supposed to sit up?"
"How does the car seat work?"

These are typical conversations in the Hodge household. We're learning as we go and we're getting the hang of this whole having a daughter thing.

When Everly was super teensy, I called the doctor three times in one day.
All of the calls were questions about baby poop. 

I was worried, but the nurse assured me everything was okay. She didn't seem disgusted at all and, judging from her tone- she found my state of worry to be amusing.

Whatever. I needed reassurance and I got it.

Newborns really freak me out. They're so SMALL and...breakable! I seriously think I used to be afraid of my daughter. Like one false move would kill her or something...I worried about that. She was my baby though, so I had to pretend to be comfortable. I needed people to think I knew what I was doing. After all, I am her mother.

 I remember feeling so awkward holding Everly. So nervous and scared I was doing it all wrong. Everyone else but me seemed to know exactly what they were doing. (They didn't.)
They seemed so sure of themselves in their parenting roles. I needed to keep pretending...for my kid's sake, if no one else's...

You know how I said kid's don't really have opinions and how if they do, they aren't really valid or well informed? Here's proof...Everly is convinced I know what I'm doing. Like, 100% sure I'm an awesome mom. It's crazy, but the kid completely TRUSTS me! She counts on me for everything and she believes I'll take care of her no matter what. She's right about that part, though- I will do absolutely ANYTHING for her.

Should she trust me so much?
 Eh, maybe. Maybe not.

After all, she has no idea I used to be terrified of her.

See how scary she is?

 I got Everly one of those door-jumper things. We've used it maybe once or twice.

That's because little kids are ALWAYS trying to kill themselves.

I swear, the one dangerous thing in a room? They'll find it. When I put Ev in this thing, she decided to swing herself into the door frame, head first. You'd think hurting herself would teach her a lesson, but it didn't. Kids are experts of inflicting pain on themselves without learning from it.

Anyway, I decided it wasn't quite time for Everly to off herself so I pillow-proofed the door.

There.
Perfect.
Way to go, me. I'm an awesome Mom...

No more hurting yourself, kid. Jump in the thing like you're supposed to. Like the box says you will. Mommy bought you a new toy and you're going to like it and learn to use it properly...These pillows will just enhance your experience...

Here's one thing you don't learn from google-ing...

Situations with kids can go from good to bad in nanoseconds.

You learn this by experiencing it as a parent.

One minute, your kid is happy.

You feel like a hero- like you're winning at life.

You'll just go do some laundry real quick since things are going so awesome,

when....

BAM!

You suck as a parent, after all.

Not as clever as you thought, are you?

These types of moments are more common in my life than I'd like people to think.

The pillow incident of 2015. One of my less genius mom moments, but there are worse things that could've happened.

Did I save her right away? Of course I did...
right after I took some pictures.



These pictures remind me of some other random stuff I've learned. Just a lil' F.Y.I. for my fellow new moms out there...

- Be careful checking your phone with one hand while feeding your kid with the other. You'll eventually drop your phone right on top of your kid's face. SMACK! WAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! You'll feel bad about it and even worse when you have to explain the bruise on their little face.

- Always, always ALWAYS check to make sure you buckled your kid into their car seat.

- If you somehow forget to follow the above advice (just ONE time, okay?!), do NOT pull over on the side of the interstate in order to correct your first problem. Remain calm. Find a safe spot to pull over, strap the kid in, and drive on.

- Never directly admit your parenting mistakes to just anyone. People can be pretty judgmental, after all. Leave them guessing.

- Scented baby wash (the pink Johnson & Johnson kind) stains the bathtub. Honey Apple is overrated, anyway.

- Pay attention to where the kid's head is before you walk through a doorway. Don't know why yet? You'll figure it out.

- Check your kids' toes and fingers for tiny sock strings and/or hair that they RIP out of your head that get wrapped around those tiny suckers and cut off circulation.

- Door jumpers and tons of other toys you'll buy are STUPID. Kids play with paper. They chew on everything! Don't waste your money to follow the hype.

- Whether you breastfeed or bottle feed, your kid is going to turn out just fine. Avoid conversations with people who feel differently about this subject.

-  Always wear your hair up when changing a diaper. I found this out the hard way and poop in the hair isn't a good look for me or anyone else, for that matter.

- Actually READ the directions for your parent gear. Car seats, strollers, etc... Those manuals are actually helpful, turns out.



- Use your stroller brakes. Every. single. time.

These are all off the top of my head. I learn more every day. Thank goodness and thanks to Google.

To Be Continued...

Writer's Block & How To Beat It - Stop Thinking. Start Writing. Stop Worrying. Beat the Block to Find Your Creative Inspiration

That moment when you're stuck. Your fingers are poised and ready to strike the keys that will tell your story. You DO have a story. You know that. Nobody else does, though, because your paralyzed little digits are worthless right now. So, you just start typing something. Anything. Whatever you can make your mind tell your fingers that makes them mysteriously 'work' again...

It's writer's block.
It's common.
It sucks.
We all hate it.
Writers, especially.

You feel this...
NEEEEEED
to write...
to say
SOMETHING.

But, you sit there at your desk...
just...
staring at a blank screen.
It's bright.
It's empty.
Your words need to fill up the pages in front of you.
But,
your fingers...
they aren't moving.
Why?

Because...,
you're thinking TOO MUCH.

You aren't typing.
Type.
Type anything.
It doesn't have to be good.
It doesn't have to be interesting...
yet.
It's there, in your mind- -
the story you want to share...
It can't ever come out unless your stupid fingers ...
MOVE.

You're still not typing anything worth reading, are you?
You're telling yourself that you can't do it.
Your fingers are stuck, after all...
So...,
you probably should just give up.

Try again another time.
The next time will be better.
You'll get it out, then...
for sure.
Yep.
You have no doubt.
Now's not the time to write.

Maybe tomorrow would be better.
But- -

Suddenly,
your fingers start flying across the keys that have been taunting you...,
daring you to hit them.
You don't care what you're writing about or whether or not you're rambling on and on about nothing that anybody would ever read or want to read or regrets reading right now.
You just need to write.
Get it out.
Doesn't matter what.
Put something
on
that
screen.

Move your hand.
Carry the pencil and stop thinking so much.
Watch ink flow across the page until you forget what your concerns were that had prevented you from telling those worries to anything that resembled blankness ...

You broke the spell.
Your fingers still work.
You didn't tell your story, though.
You've got to stop thinking like that, you know.
You didn't give yourself an easy way out.
You wrote.

You told Writer's Block to piss off.
Doesn't matter how you did it.
Doesn't matter if the crap you wrote means anything.
It just matters that the screen or paper in front of you isn't blank anymore.

And,
your story will reveal itself
ONLY
if
you
keep
writing...

WRITE? :)

Renting A House in Nashville & Surrounding Areas: Advice from a Nashville Native for Renters in Search of A Home

Find Rental Home in Nashville, TN. 

That phrase should be a simple Google search that helps house hunters like me.

 It's not, though. 

As a fairly tech-savvy Nashville native, I still began our search for a rental home with Google. 

Those search word keystrokes led me on an adventure- or emotional roller coaster. 

You decide...

I'm a Nashville native who has been on a mission to find a rental home since August, 2013. 

I've learned quite a lot since then. 

My story is similar to that of other couples in their mid-twenties, who are trying to avoid the dreaded confinements that returning to an apartment entails. 

#Rentals in #Nashville - a simple phrase with a complicated and unknown undertakings for renters. 

I'll start with my renter story. 

If you're here for the straight-forward facts about renting a house in Nashville...scroll on, rudie-Mc-rude-ness... advice is at the bottom of this post. Hope it helps you. 

The rest of you readers who've stayed along for the roller coaster beginnings...

It's going to be a wild ride.

Hang in there. 

The ups and downs of renting a home will all be worth it in the end... 

They were for me. (spoileralert!)

And so, our story begins....

We had to move. 

...as most people assume when one starts frantically searching for a new place...

Anyway, 

We checked Craigslist. 

In summary, there are scammers. 

Do not give them your personal information. 

They are not on a mission in Nigeria. 

They will not mail you the keys to their home. 

Because it's not their home. 

And you are wasting your time. 

Don't send them money. 

Some of them begin convos in a legitimate fashion that makes you want to believe them. 

That's because you really just want to believe you've found an affordable housing option that those bastards are lying about. 

It's okay. 

Don't blame yourself too much. 

Unless you got all the way to the post office to mail a money order to Nigeria. 

Then, I still pity you. 

Point is- so many scams are on Craigslist. 

It can be hard when you're searching forever online to find the perfect place to move. 

You're tired. 

They know that. 

They prey on the tired and hopeful little wanna-be renters like you. 

Be careful. 

No phone number that's local? 

Move on to the next listing, my friend. 

Your real house is waiting...

A Google search next led us to a website that listed a local agent's phone number. 

We called the number we saw on that site. 

I got excited to hear a Southern accent answer my call!

She's local. 

FINALLY. 

We met this particular agent at a beautiful two-story home that was priced affordably on the site that prompted our call to the agent. 

She showed up wearing sweatpants. 

She left her kid in the car to show us the house. 

We chatted about how cheap the house was. 

A RENT FEE PER MONTH WAS NOT SPECIFICALLY PROVIDED. 

So, assumptions make asses of all of us. 

She thought because we thought the house was cheap- 

We knew the price. 

We thought that because her number was listed on a site that did have a cheap rate, we must all be on the same page. 

This part seems stupid, but...

ASK HOW MUCH THE HOUSE IS PER MONTH. 

Doesn't matter where you saw the ad. 

Any trace of evidence for the rate you found that had partners affiliated with the agent and/or property management company...will be damn near impossible to find. 

You may get all the way to signing a lease. 

You may stand in line at Regions to learn that they don't do money orders anymore. 

Then, you might go to Walmart and get the money orders for your rental downpayment and security deposit...

because the agent said it would be a good idea. 

Then, you might get a call at night. 

It may be Agent Sweatpants. 

She may tell you that you were selected by the owner among other applications to be the new renters of her fabulous home!

You'll feel like you've won THE PRICE IS RIGHT...

Until after you hang up, you decide to confirm the rent rate because you see that online- it appears to have increased since your last search...

Then, you might get a text message that states untrue information. 

You might be lied to verbally since any written text of what really happened will not be foolishly provided. 

You may have to back out of the whole thing, altogether. 

I hear that stuff happens, you know. 

:/ #totallyhypothetical #sarcasticbuttrue #youdecide

You'll get mad. 

You'll get back on Craigslist, after mourning the loss of your perfect almost-was rental home. 

At that point, you'll feel like giving up. 

You'll hear offers and deals about apartments. 

You'll cave in and schedule a viewing of those boxes in which you can't be caged. 

And then...

something will happen.

Something you had nearly lost all hope of coming true but you desperately searched...

SCOURED the internet...until

You found the REAL house. 

You talked to nice people. 

They didn't mislead, scam, or lie to you. 

They helped you. 

You didn't trust them at first. 

But, they helped you. 

Hang in there. 

It's out there. 

You may make some mild trade-offs in the process- You'll have to do that or go to an apartment, friend. FACE IT NOW. 

Still, driving a few more minutes isn't too bad. Especially when you've got a big backyard where your dogs can play. You have a quaint little home you can afford. You are safe in that neighborhood. 

You are happy the other house didn't work out. 

You wonder where Agent Sweatpants is, for a brief moment that passes when you decide you could give a shit less about her. 

You have a new house. 

Because you didn't give up.

You'll want to give up. Your work space will look like you've morphed into an investigative detective. Mine did. Stay calm, friends. Call MMC in Murfreesboro. Google MMC Properties in Murfreesboro, TN. Our house isn't really in Murfreesboro, but it's off Nashville Pike- just past the Smryna line. 

No, it's not in Nashville. 

We pay a lot less. 

We have a bigger yard. 

Pets are allowed.

And...we're safe there. 

We move 10 days from now. 

SO- HERE'S THE ADVICE THAT YOU IMPATIENT SURFERS FOUND EARLIER ABOUT RENTING A HOME IN NASHVILLE AND SURROUNDING AREAS: 

- Trulia and Zillow don't show the right prices for homes, nearly every single time- the contact is also out-of-state. 

- Local property management agents like selling houses, rather than dealing with renters. 

- Find rental agents at local rental property management companies by looking for this specialization of services. 

- Take screen shots for any price you see that you believe is accurate or false and completely misleading. It'll be your only proof if the poster deletes after raising the cost. 

- Call numbers that begin with your area code. 

- Visit the office of the local agent. 

- Go to the property. (pictures lie often)

- Check the crime rates in the home's surrounding neighborhood. Or, drive around in bad parts of town to find a beautiful, low-cost home in a horribly dangerous neighborhood. 

- If you live in Tennessee- go to MMC Properties in Murfreesboro. They were nice to me. Kind of a Pretty-Woman shopping scenerio, really- especially after dealing with unprofessional agencies who shall remain unnamed but know exactly from the details of this story who they are. I do have some boundaries to ranting, after all. 

Hope this post is helpful or at least encouraging to the other house-hunters in Nashville. 

There's still hope. There are honest people. There is a perfect house for you. Finding it isn't easy, but it's worth it in the end. 

WE'RE MOVING! :) 

Benefits of Blogging - Why I Blog - How to Blog - Keep Writing - What to Blog About

Today, I have to finish my term paper for Philosophy.
It's 6AM now, so I've got 18 hours to work on that before the deadline strikes.
I feel like an unlucky Cinderella.

Before I start reading, typing frantically, and cramming for tests this week-

I must blog.

Blogging keeps me sane, at times when the day holds more responsibilities than I'm ready or capable to finish. Coffee will help. Blogging will help, too.

Must not think about Plato and what topics of which I shall write for a paper deadline right now. Far too stressful on this Sunday morning.

I took some pictures yesterday.

I'll blog about them now.

(right after these messages, that just happened in my head and should go right  

here on this blog.)

I don't blog so much for other people to read my posts as I blog for myself. That seems selfish. I guess it is. It's also the honest truth. I blog because I have too many thoughts spinning around in my head all the time so some of them have to go here.

Writing is like therapy for me. Taking pictures is what I do. Writing about those pictures is a simple way that I relax and regroup. Sometimes, I don't know what to write about. Actually, most times. To combat that annoying little obstacle, I just start typing.

Whatever words end up here are my thoughts at the time in which I type them on the screen.
I guess some people would say that my blog is more of a journal than anything creative or useful for others.

I figure that there are plenty of other blogs out there to fulfill the demands of readers.

Mine isn't usually one of them.

My blog is not really centered around any specific topics or advice columns that will help people find certain bits of how-to information they can use in life.

That's what Google is for.

Since other blogs and Google exist, I release myself from obligations of making readers love me or the random thoughts I write about.

So, why do I blog?

The motivation behind writing has always been strong for me, but the various reasons for blogging have changed repeatedly since I first began on Blogger.

At first, I wanted to promote photos I'd taken that I thought were better than average.
I dreamed that people would look at my blog, see my photos, and that somehow-
I'd become a famous photographer.

I realize that the leap from posting pictures online to professional photography is tremendous. When I began this blog, however, the jump seemed possible and even likely. How else would people discover me, I thought. So, that's why I blogged back then.

I am still not famous.
My photography has achieved account-making all over the web, but not much else. Photo contests I've entered have resulted in top 10 statuses, but I haven't won first place in any submissions yet.
No one has called me to praise the photos I take and to hire me as a professional photographer.
They're missing out, of course.
Still, the point of this matter is that blogging makes me dream of the things I really want.
Blogging and writing are means to self-discovery.
Although I'm not a professional photographer, I found that my passion for taking photos is real and persisting. I realized a talent I have and I gained confidence by blogging about my photos, if nothing else. That's what's happened with the first motivation results thus far. I'm okay with it.

After receiving no house calls from talent scouts or magazine editors begging for more of my photos, I began blogging about my new business venture on Etsy.
I started a shop, selling vintage and antique finds, at Lifelooklens on Etsy.
My store closed, following the death of my grandfather, the demands of my job, and the beginnings of going back to school for a degree I needed for the job I felt stuck in.

I miss owning and operating my Etsy shop. For the few months my store was open, I made about 60 sales and additional income that helped while my husband completed his third year in pharmacy school.

Yeah, I blogged about all that for a while. I promoted my Etsy shop and perhaps my efforts to post about it on this blog resulted in brief success at Lifelooklens entrepreneurship.

Still, no talent scouts called.

After I closed my Etsy store, following a heated message sending frenzy centered around the non-mailed status of a 1980's teal Caboodle kit, I decided to move on.

I stopped posting for a while. 
After all, I felt like I had failed in both ventures and purposes for blogging in the first place.

I realize now, that is nonsense. Pish-posh, if you will.

I went on a craft-making spree for a couple of months when I didn't post much on Blogger.
I began drawing and sketching again.
I pursued a cartoonist's dream for a while.
I thought about centering my blog around the drawings and sketches I doodle.
I posted some of those on here.

That got boring when no newspapers wanted my cartoons.

 Why I feel that success is getting my work published, I do not know.
It's just something I've always wanted. I still do.

As I reflect upon my history of blogging, I've gained an overall perspective about the benefits of writing and posting on Blogger.

Here's what I've learned: 

THE BENEFITS OF BLOGGING:

- Blogging promotes self-awareness, clarity, insight, and overall mental health. 
- Physical, tangible effects in my personal life have directly been the results of blogging. 
- Success is not being "discovered"
- Success is persistence of dreams, even when the specifics of those dreams aren't yet realized.
- Blogging helps to discover what dreams you want most in your life.
- Writing down your thoughts makes them more real.
- You're more likely to pursue your passions when you blog about them.
- Positive self-esteem is achieved by creating posts on a blog that you feel proud of
- Creative talents are discovered via blogging
- Even though you may not feel like anyone is reading your blog...someone does. 
- The thoughts you have are better organized on a blog than they are in your crazy little bean head. 
- Blogs don't have to center around any specific topic/subject.
- Blogs do have to center around specific topics/subjects if you want to have consistent readers. 
- If you believe in being yourself and valuing the traits you have that others aren't aware of- blogging achieves self-confidence, better communication skills, and better writing habits. 
- Blogging leaves something behind that will not die when you do. 
- Blogging makes your own personal mark on the world, even when you can't see it at the time. 
- Blogging is relaxing. 
- There is freedom in blogging. There is control, when life spins out of control.
- Blogging changes you, in positive ways that you never expected. 
- You can write about whatever you want. 

One of my favorite things about blogging, in summary, is that you  
don't have to begin typing with any specific idea in mind.  

It will come to you.

 It will develop before your eyes, like magic.

This post serves to demonstrate that last benefit of blogging, I think. :)

And now, the pictures I said I'd blog about...

because this is my blog. this is me. the story of my life, in pictures...ever-changing...

Enjoy, and don't stop writing!

Dear Readers and (Shy) Talent Scouts,

I would like to thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you will return. I am uncertain of the reasons for which you have not contacted me yet for photo publication, though I am sure they are noble and are not intended to offend me. I would like to publish a book. I would like for you to help me do that. I will be thrilled to see stats on my blog increase as you view this post and are compelled to find more photos and posts I have written. I am sure you are just very busy. I am sure that you will enjoy at least a post or two on this blog, if you grant me a few moments of your valuable time. I will forever be grateful for your attention to my work. I would like to tell you about my dream. It's simple. Just publish one thing I've done, so I can stop self-promoting my work in such a demeaning, shameless manner. I live in Nashville, Tennessee. People say they like my pictures. I would like for more people to see them. I would like for you to help me do that.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for following. Thank you for coming back to see what I do next on my non-conventional blog of random thoughts and ambitions I hope to achieve.

Please leave comments for any suggestions, features, or promotions/topics/projects/whatever's-in-your-head that you want to see here, on my blog. I will appreciate and accommodate suggestions!

Regina Hodge.
Lifelooklens.
affiliated with many various online projects, but Lifelooklens is my overall alias. Now, you know my name(s).

I hope to hear from you all soon. :)