Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The Girl In The Yellow Hat

Since I quit my job, I've had trouble adjusting to a new schedule that only I am in charge of delegating to myself. It's weird. I had this idea that everything would make more sense in my life after I cut the overwhelming responsibilities of work out of my daily routine. Part of that assumption has proven true, but the transition between working full time and not working at all has been one I've had trouble making gracefully.

The lady at the gas station down the road didn't recognize me the other day when I stopped in for a pack of smokes. (A habit I am to re-quit tomorrow, by the way)...

"Oh, hey there!"
The same check out lady I see every day is always alarmingly cheerful at, what I've determined to be, too early an hour for polite conversations.
"Oh, hi..."
I greeted her as I sleepily made my own coffee in the gas station that does not provide such a common and expected service for its customers.
"Didn't recognize you for a second, there...without your hat."

What the hell does one say to such a strange observation?
I managed an, "Er..., yep...I do usually wear my hats in the winter."

"You just look different is all."

Why didn't she just shut up?
Why comment at all on my appearance as I make my own coffee in the gas station that no employees drink the sacred beverage that begins a normal human's day?

It occurred to me then that I'd let myself go a bit since the whole job-quitting, moving/life-transition I chose to make...

I have become The Girl In The Yellow Hat, here in Smyrna, Tennessee.
The only thing that outnumbers the amount of churches here are the liquor and beer quick-stop-shops, conveniently located within walking distance from those churches.

This place is different. My yellow hat shields me from the changes I still find strange and alarming in my new little town.

The one day I did not wear my protective yellow-hat-shield, some outsider/local had to comment on it. I've worn it every day since that occasion.

I'm wearing it now.

Because that's the weird stuff I'm doing, lately.

In this new life, I'm doing lots of laundry and chores that I let surmount to an impossible degree over the years when I permitted my job to take over my life.

Therefore, showers and yellow hats are sometimes forgotten. - and damn the people who feel the need to comment on such things that make me feel safer here. :)


People have freely given their opinions on what I should be doing with my life, lately.
I don't often agree with their advice, as it defeats the entire motive behind my choice of unemployment.

"I'm going to write a book."
"Yeah, right."

"I'm going to finish my degree."
"You'll need a Master's in that field to go anywhere."

"I'm going to re-open my shop online."
"That's probably not a great idea right now."

"I'll start my own business."
"Seems really risky."

"I'll apply for another job, then."
"You probably won't need one right now."


"I'll wear my yellow hat."
"That hat looks good on you."

And so, these are the events of my life right now.

There's a lot to be determined but one thing's for sure...

I'm gonna keep wearing this hat until I figure everything else out.

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