Monday, October 15, 2012

Global Warming Solutions

I like clouds, trees, sunsets, and all other things fluffy and/or colorful in nature. I can't resist an opportunity to take pictures of the sky when I see a cloud of interesting composition. I have too many pictures of clouds, really. I have no idea if the quantity of sky/tree pictures I've taken is of normal accumulation for any one person to have collected. It is not uncommon for me to glance out the window and run outside to take pictures of the sky. This habit would be more explainable to my husband and to nosy neighbors if I were a meteorologist or storm chaser.

 I have no such logical answer for my sky photo obsession when people ask me what I'm doing pointing my camera at celestial surroundings. However, I've decided to start claiming that I'm charged with photographic duties of visually mapping cloud progressions for scientific and humanitarian purposes. People like to have reasons that justify strange obsessive behaviors of others.

Maybe  I'll start saying that I've got to report to the government about global warming fluctuations, which directly relate to color, size and composition of clouds. Although ridiculous, my claims of epic responsibility to mankind are expected to satisfy the curiosity of questioning onlookers who frequently observe my picture-taking habits. Instead of ,

'Look, Tom- it's that weird neighbor lady out there in her front yard again with her camera aimed at the sky...Wonder what she's doing...her poor husband must be so embarrassed of her crazy behaviors',

I'll start hearing more positive analysis made by fellow dwellers of Dunailie Drive. 'Oh, Tom- It's our sweet little neighbor, out there taking those weather pictures again. Bless her heart. You know, she's working on a government report on global warming so that scientists can find a cure? Thank God she's looking out for all of us, taking all those important pictures like she does...'

I don't think I have a neighbor named Tom, nor do I think his pretend wife would care what kind of reasonable explanation I gave her for my consistently strange photo-ops.

My real neighbors keep their huge dog on a chain in their front yard. They once left a 2-year-old unsupervised in that same front yard. I doubt they give a shit about clouds...or global warming. They undoubtedly think I'm weird for taking pictures of the sky. That's okay because I think they tried to feed a baby to a German Shepherd. I'm fairly certain that their habits  are more likely to disrupt our community and/or pose a threat to civilization than my photo/sky obsession.

Without further ado, I present to the world, my sky pictures...I mean, er... highly classified photos for a specially-assigned,  global warming/humanitarian project that only I am able to execute...

Scientific Observation #1: The sun feels hotter when no clouds serve as a barrier to shield our planet from its rays. (Duh.)

Scientific Observation #2: Our planet heats at a slower rate when trees or clouds prevent harmful sunrays from penetrating Earth.

Scientific Observation #3: We are going to need more clouds and more trees to battle global warming.

This photo demonstrates how a tree protects the Earth's floor from overheating. As one can see, the area that is not blocked by
a tree or a cloud is exposed to harmful sunrays that cause this exposed portion of ground to become overheated.

Many scientists have overcomplicated the topic of global warming as they theorize its cause is more directly associated with the greenhouse effect,
rise of air pollutants, and increase of Carbon Dioxide.

 Hmmm...It seems my presented solution for installation of more trees and clouds
isn't so silly after all, assuming that scientists are correct.

More trees mean more oxygen. Trees rely on CO2 to excrete O, correct?
I seem to remember my third grade science teacher saying something of that sort.
I think Mrs. Frizzle reinforced this theory as well.
I trust Mrs. Frizzle and her magic schoolbus. Planting more trees should definitely solve our global warming crisis. Good thing I
took this picture, huh? Yesssssssiiiiirrrrreeeeeyy...Now, all I've got to do is submit this evidence to the government.

Boy, are those scientists going to be embarrassed that their solution was so easy. Seems I'm quite the little problem solver-
and so FAST with my provision of life-saving solutions! :)

Scientific Observation #4: Fir trees block more sunlight than other trees. Fir trees also make more oxygen than other trees, according
Okay, so we should plant sequioas and fir it.

Scientific Observation #5: There are no ships in this photo.

We will need to install more oceans in rural areas...don't worry, these oceans will be small. Besides, people like beaches so I doubt we'll get much opposition.

Once we get an ocean here, we're going to put a ship on it. WHY?, you ask?...Because we're going to make some more clouds.

HOW?, you say? It's simple, really. We're going to shoot some salt water into the sky from our ship.

Our efforts are going to make longer-lasting clouds, thus creating a more efficient barrier to combat global warming. I can't take all the credit for this proposed solution- but I fully support the installation of more beaches.

Want to learn how you can decrease global warming with your ship? Uh.....YES.

 Go to:

Scientific Observation #6: No asphalt is pictured here. Asphalt radiates more heat than concrete or gravel. See how shady the
area in this picture is? Its also cooler here than in urban areas. I motion to country-fy our nation to reduce global warming effects.

Evidence to support my drastic no-asphalt plan may be found here:,albedo.htm

Scientific Observation #7: Power lines are not underground. Power outages are caused by tree limbs that fall on above-ground power lines. I motion to bury these bad boys...and to plant all my trees away from locations like the one you see here. These precautions should reduce energy usage and decrease excessive financial expenditures for energy production. It seems someone else has already suggested this observation. However, I think my photo should assist them with promoting their global warming reduction plan.
 See more at:

 You're welcome. And to my dog-chaining, nosy neighbors who consistently see me taking pictures of everything- you're the main thing that's got to go to make this world a better place. With your departure from my neighborhood, additional reduction of global warming would be achieved. I do my part by taking pictures and blogging nonsensically. You do yours now. It's only fair. :)

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