Thursday, November 7, 2013

Let's Play The Glad Game

Let's NOT play the glad game, Pollyanna.

I've been in a state of grumpy, exhausted confusion for the past few days.
Moving and packing, taping and boxing, paying and signing....the list of tasks grows when I add the fact that I have exams due this weekend and haven't studied yet.

Also, there's the strangeness related to my job.
Past job... er-
part time job?
That's not it.
Temp job?
As-needed job?
Do I have one?
I did.
I don't.
I do...sort-of?
Oh, well... No time to think of that right now. Must box all the things. Must move to the place of the house on the yard that is fenced where the dogs don't know they will go there until I take them.

That little paragraph above is a prime example of the way my brain has been functioning lately. Fragments, run-ons, questions being asked by myself-
to myself.

Some people would call that crazy.
Are kids still saying what-ev?
I'm out of touch.
I'm old.
I should know these things.
Why don't I know the lingo anymore?
Wonder if they still say 'cool'.
If not, I'm still cool, right?
Yeah... I'm totally cool.
Bet they've never seen Clueless.
Not that it's the greatest movie but it is kind-of a must-see...
or was-
back in my day...
Oh, no.
I AM getting old.

This Blog post is about Pollyanna.
Betcha didn't see that coming, did'ja?
Oh, yeah- there's a spoiler-clue in the title.
Well, I can always be glad that some people didn't catch the spoiler.

I can be glad that my feet are warm and snug in brightly-colored socks that a happy kindergartener would admire.
I can be glad that there are kindergarteners.
I can be glad...

Pollyanna has been an obnoxious role model of mine that I don't openly talk about, even to my closest friends. My husband only vaguely gets the references since my brief and muffled, nerdish explanations of this epic hero are mostly kept to myself...

You know how there are those movies that you LOVE, despite the opinion you KNOW other adults- and (even you!) realize are fairly stupid and poorly written?

Yeah, well-
Pollyanna's not like that, okay?

She's the shit.
The happy shit.

I hear kids DO still say that, by the way. Bet it's because they get to curse and look 'COOL'.
Kids from the nineties INVENTED 'cool'.
We never used bad words, either.
We were THAT cool-
and grew up to be sarcastic bloggers who focus indirectly and inadequately on several unrelated topics all at the same time.

Oh, what would Pollyanna say about that?
She'd be glad that 90's kids are blogging, I bet.
She'd be glad that kids now are still saying, 'That's the shit.'
Pollyanna would NEVER say the word, 'shit'.
Still, she'd find something GLAD about it.
She found something glad about everything.
I just can't quite think of what she'd find to be glad about this particular scenario...
Actually, when I really imagine what Pollyanna would say-
in reference to words like shit, and the common casual way we use those words-
It makes me laugh.

In my head, here's Pollyanna...having a conversation with a character I'll call, Regina, for example.
(Hypothetical names, of course, mind you.)
R= Regina (hypothetically)
P= Pollyanna

R: "Today is awful."
P: "Ohhhhh, nooooo! You see, today is a LOVELY day!"
R: "No, it's not. Everything that's happened today- and yesterday- has sucked, Pollyanna."
P: "Sucked?"
R: "Oh.... yeah... Sorry... I forget you're still learning- It means that nothing good has happened today     or yesterday, Pollyanna."
P: "Oh, I'm sure there must be something!"
R: "Nope. Past two days have really been bad."
P: "Nothing is ever ALL bad, Regina. Do you know what I do to feel better?"
R: "Yes. I've seen your movie."
P: "Then, you know how to play the GLAD GAME!"
R: "Really gets on people's nerves, you know."
P: "Not on everyone's nerves. I bet there's someone who feels happier when they play the glad game!"
R: "Not me."
P: "Try it."
R: "No, Pollyanna. You live in a bubble. Things aren't as great as you make them out to be and you're believing a bunch of nonsense. The world has gotten a whole lot uglier since you did that movie, you know?"
P: "Well, then... We can be glad that I made that movie, now, can't we!...How do you mean, ugly?"
R: "Kids say the word, shit."
P: "Oh, dear. Oh, no, dear me!"
R: "Yep. They mean it to be a good thing, though."
P: "How...peculiar... You mean, they say that awful word to mean something that is good?? You're right, Regina, things surely have changed since I taught the world the glad game in my movie."
R: "Yeah, well... bet you can't say something GLAD about THAT, now, can you?
P: "Errrrr...."
R: "Go on..."
P: "I've GOT IT!"
R: "No way."
P: "Children are using words in new ways to mean entirely different things than the previous generations had ever thought to use them! Why..., children today have turned something that has always been thought of as ugly... to represent something...

R: You win, Pollyanna.


:) :) :) Sometimes, you've gotta play the GLAD GAME. You've gotta re-invent your own Pollyanna.
THAT, my friends, WILL MAKE YOU GLAD. :)

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