Tuesday, November 5, 2013

When You Just Need To Vent

Sometimes, you just need to vent about all the things going on that are bothering you.

I've learned that there's a healthy way to vent and an unhealthy way to display all that anger that's built up inside you.

Just because I've learned the best ways to vent doesn't mean I always follow the rules that are implied.

I felt angry today.

I thought and said some things I probably shouldn't have said and/or thought.

I felt a little better immediately after my temper tantrum, but I found this relief to be temporary and fleeting.

What's the worst thing when you're venting to someone about what's bothering you?
The listener says something that doesn't go along with your outrageously grumpy little explosion,

You're all whiney and complain-ey and all you want is for somebody to validate your feelings. You don't want to hear any opinions during tantrum time- Especially if the listener's argument is compelling to prove you're being dramatic or ridiculous.

Those listeners need to shut up.
They need to let you have your say!
They need to agree and confirm everything that comes out of your rage-fueled little pipe-hole.

At least, that's how I felt this morning. It's how I always feel when I'm angry.
I've never handled myself as gracefully as I'd like when I get mad.

It takes quite a LOT to prompt my feelings of anger.

However, once I reach that lava-hot point-
Nobody should have to listen to the stuff I say.
Even though I justify all of it at the angry time when crazy meanness flies from my mouth.

Luckily, I've gotten better about expressing feelings (even, anger) in more beneficial ways than I evidenced today in my behavior.

There's been a long-standing debate about whether venting is a healthy practice or whether it just fuels anger to propel and accelerate its flames of madness.

Like everything else, venting is healthy in moderation.

So, throw your little tantrum.
Let the listener correct you and pull you back to the reality of earth that your madness-filled self just left like a rocket to space...
Get mad at the listener.
Don't hurt listener for being right.
Accept that the listener is right and that you're angry.
Never hurt the listener. Although they are annoying, you need them.

Take a breather. Turn on some music. Chill the heck out for just a few minutes...
Then, start planning...
Target what makes you angry, miserable, sad, scared, furious, frightened, belittled, exploited, used, etc., etc., bad feeling, bad feeling....

Then, start writing down what positive things you're doing to do to change the sources of what is the root of those angry, 'bad' feelings.

When that list is done, ignore obstacles to check those tasks off one by one.
Don't let anybody stop you and don't let the anger control you.
After all, nobody MAKES you FEEL angry.

YOU CHOOSE TO FEEL ANGRY, just like you choose to vent.

So choose something that's actually going to help you out, why don't you?

At least, this is the advice I give for you now. In the events that follow my checklist's completion, I may gain a whole new outlook about all this.

Maybe I'll regret it.
Maybe I won't.

All I know is that I HAVE TO DO MY CHECKLIST.
I've got a plan to fix the things in my life that burden me and along the way, I hope to improve myself-
with every check-
with every task-
with every improvement-
with every step, advancement, hello, goodbye, move, relationship, job, LIFE...

Because that's the healthy way to VENT.

Who knows what will result from the healthy venting process...
Time will tell. Stay tuned, my friends.
Life just got a whole lot more interesting. :)

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