Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The Selfie Shots You Should and Shouldn't Post - Selfies How-To and How-Not-to-do Guide


 We all take selfies. 

Selfie: n.,sing.def: 1. a photo that one takes of one's self. 
2. a digital image (usually jpeg. format) that one uploads 
to feature what one perceives as one's 
best features, aura, personality,
passion, or ideal portrait. 
3. Term used to define the Facebook trend of 
2013, involving the photographic 
imaging of one's self. 

Now that we're all on the same self-centered page, let's chat about the selfies we're seeing online lately.


What's the worst thing you can think of at the end of your long, exhausting day? 

(most often posted by the people you don't like but don't have the nerve to de-friend on Facebook.)
I'm talking about the selfie-shots that force you to engage in an internal decision battle between posting a critical and insulting reply or taking the more noble route that permits you to accept the poster's ignorance/arrogance with tolerance and dignity (that will not permit you from needless online confrontation)

After experimenting with my own selfie photo-shoots, I've come up with a few points that I feel selfieducated to share. (new word, new hashtag, new selfie-trend began here with me. remember that.) 

Here are the selfies 

 Ok, this sort is obvious and just unacceptable. 
At least get your whole face in there. 
And who's that person in there with you? 
What are the pots doing in the background? 
Where are you? 
What the...? 

So many questions for selfies like this. 
Don't. just...

Don't post selfies that were taken just for
the purpose of an inside joke- unless it's between 
you and at least 10 other people who can 'like' your selfie 
to redeem this sort of picture. Here's my husband, for example. 
To me, this is hilarious. It's funny because he posed for me to 
take weird pictures that I will later give to my sister. That's also funny because I took this picture when we first visited her at the
new house she just bought. It's funny because Josh posed like a 
creeper all over my sister's house without her catching him.
It's not funny to you. 
This picture is weird. 
It's a bad selfie. 
Anything you have to explain or write a paragraph about its humor
or justification meets all criteria for bad-selfie-ness. 

Alright. He's hot. I know because I married him. 
Still, this sort of selfie is NOT OKAY TO POST. 
I POST IT because it's not okay to post it and you
must understand that this is a what-not-to-do
Shirtless men (and women, for that matter) 
are not meant to be seen on profile pictures or public forums. 
Not only that, but this example isn't even big enough to get the full effect of hot-ness. It's also turned the wrong way.
If you're going to take the time to pose shirtless,
save the pics for your wife. 
Then, she'll post your bad/good/what-not-to-do selfie
on her blog.
5 years later.
is this sort of selfie okay. 
Put some clothes on, people. 
Unless you're this guy. 
His selfies are perfect even when I use them without his permission. 

We've got the basics.
What makes a great selfie? 
The first shot posted in this blog feature. 

Yep. that's me. 
I'm bragging on my own selfie. 
It's okay because I'm wearing clothes, fully face-featured, and less creepy than most selfies. 

Show yourself doing what you love. 

It's that simple. 

Do it and be real about it. 
Catch yourself in a moment that you wouldn't show to most people. 
Snap a picture when you're at your you-i-est

That, my friends, is how you make a great selfie. The rest is all up to the opinions of people you should've deleted from your friend list a long time ago, anyway. 




No comments: